Read the Signs, Baby

There has been a lot of media coverage in recent times about the benefits of using baby sign language. The information presented often focuses on the educational and psychological benefits of signing giving the impression that it might just help little Johnny on his way to a Rhodes Scholarship.

I chose to use baby sign with my son, but not for such high and mighty reasons. In reality, my decision about whether to sign was less about IQ and more about intuition. I just felt there was so much going on in that little head of his that I couldn’t access. If this gave me a window into his mind and soul then I wanted to know about it.

When I informed my extended family that I was teaching my seven-month-old to sign, there were raised eyebrows and rolled eyes all around. It was put down to another one of my pseudo-intellectual fads – a clear product of reading too much apparently.

My experiment also had a rather selfish secondary motivation. I had read that children who sign have less of a tendency for tantrums. That was it – my decision was made. If there was anything, anything at all that could prevent the inevitable toddler tantrums I would give it a go.

In the beginning I chose two or three signs that were common elements to our day – DRINK, EAT, MILK. For three months I consistently signed and said these words to him at the appropriate time. He didn’t sign back, but it had become part of my daily routine and it wasn’t adding any extra stress to my day, so I continued.

One day when hewas ten months old, he looked out the window and spotted a bird in the bird bath. He turned to me with wide eyes and pointed. I saw what had grabbed his attention and signed BIRD. He looked at me with excitement and signed BIRD back. Our wonderful journey of signing had begun.

Over the next few months he learned quickly – but not the signs I thought he would or should know. It was far more exciting to sign DOG, PLANE and CAT than SLEEP, EAT or DRINK. He was more interested in describing his environment, what he was seeing, than the mundane experiences of daily life. He wanted to share his joy as he discovered an amazing world for himself.

As his signing vocabulary took off he learned the power of being able to tell me what he wanted. Although his spoken vocabulary was limited to ‘mum mum mum’ and ‘dad dad dad’, through his hands he could tell me when he wanted more, when he’d finished and eventually, when he was thirsty or hungry.

By the time he was fifteen months old he had a signing vocabulary of approximately forty words. Whilst it meant leaving a long list of interpretations and symbols for the babysitter, it was an absolute God-send for me. I was able to communicate with my child, to get inside his head, to understand him, before he was effectively using the English language.
So what are some of the practical benefits to signing? Here are four reasons why I would recommend signing to any parent:

1. It gave me an insight into my child’s world.
Although I introduced signs I thought would be useful, in reality my son directed the learning. Once he worked out that he could talk with his hands, he would bring things to my attention and watch closely until I could give him the appropriate sign. Then the things that interested him became a source of mutual delight. We’d spot a plane in the sky and his little hand would zoom across the sky. He purely wanted to share his excitement. I got to see the world through my child’s eyes.

2. It encouraged my child to look at me.
This might sound like something inane, but I am convinced it set him up for some really good communication skills. To this day, as an almost three-year-old, he looks at me when I’m talking to him. All those months of signing encouraged him to develop the habit of listening with his eyes as well as his ears.

3. My child experienced less frustration
Now it’s hard to say for sure how much signing impacted his frustration levels, but I honestly believe it helped. It’s true that he is a calm and placid child by nature. However, rather than point helplessly at the cupboard and scream to be heard, he realised very quickly that he could ask quite specifically for something. Sure, there were still tears when mummy said no, but there were very few tears of frustration. The power of being understood was powerful in his life, even when he entered those toddler years.

4. It encouraged me to interact closely with my child.
It’s so easy as a parent to get distracted. There’s always dinner to cook, clothes to wash, appointments to keep, let alone work to accomplish. Signing forced me to stop and focus on him, eye-to-eye, countless times across the day. I showed him through my undivided attention that I was listening – really listening – to what mattered to him. That was great for our parent-child relationship.

So is signing for everyone? Possibly not. Although it’s not difficult it is one more thing to think about during the day and only reaps rewards if you are consistent. It requires reinforcement time and time again and there is effort involved. All I can say is that in my experience it was well worth it. So much so, that there is no doubt in my mind I’ll be using baby sign again soon. You see, we are expecting identical twin boys any day now and in six or seven months time the signing will begin. Will they benefit in the same way as our first child? I hope so. But even if the only benefit is the development of a relationship based on mutual listening, even if their signing is limited to showing me the dog or bird outside, it will still have been worthwhile.
As for the future impact on my boys’ intelligence or education – to be honest, I’m not that fussed. Any positive impact will be a bonus. In the meantime I’ve been able to get inside their heads and see a little of what makes them tick. For me, that’s time well spent.